I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
