I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
