Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
