She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
