and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
