So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Randomize
