Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
