she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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