I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
