So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
