My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
