She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
