end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
