The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
