fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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