Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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