it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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