It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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