had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
i need some magic done to my vagina
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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