is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
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