Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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