At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
