pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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