Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
