He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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