your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Can Purell be used as lube?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Your penis caused this!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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