It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
