and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
