it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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