drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize