He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
When are your genitals available?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
