Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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