yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
