i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
