I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
