I bet he comes in French.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
