We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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