You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Did I show you my penis last night?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
