the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize