Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize