and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
