So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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