they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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