Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
