Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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