yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
