talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
well you can't waste a boner
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
