id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
