So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
