I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
