Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
