did you get engaged???
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
