he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
