I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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