I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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