Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
